I have been chewing on a post in my mind for some time now to really answer the “how I’m doing” question that I get from earnest friends and colleagues. A medical colleague summed it up so well that I’m just going to link you to his Twitter thread. Every single one of these words could be mine:
I am in a bit better situation than most, better apparently than this oncologist. I have a roommate who is also a lifelong friend who works outside the home during normal business hours. That keeps us away from each other long enough to make being each other’s only social life otherwise easier, I think. I get some time alone at home that my roommate doesn’t however. I don’t know what to do about that.
But, our hours are different, so even though we live in the same dwelling we aren’t attached at the hip. I spend much of the time in my room while my roommate is sleeping. This shrinks everything down to four walls (with a bathroom outside the door) because I also work full-time from my room.
I think about prisoners a lot. Not because I feel imprisoned, nor do I believe my conditions even approximate imprisonment, but I wonder how better-adapted prisoners do time within the same four walls. What mental habits do they rely upon?
This post is self-care. I want to be seen, even if it is only being read about. I know those of you reading this with partners and families have a different set of problem, just as awful, I feel better knowing people at least have a chance to know what it is like for me and those similarly situated.
Stay safe.