In Buddhist teaching what we commonly call “thinking” is grouped in with the other five senses — sight, hearing, taste, touch and smell. These are the ways we gather information about the world.
If something explodes nearby, no one questions the immediate and unilateral response of everyone around to look, listen, and perhaps smell, touch, or taste, the exploded thing. You’ll never hear “why did you look at that?” from anyone who witnessed it with you.
Yet, when a thought appears, often another notion appears questioning why I am focused on it, as if I summon thoughts into existence like detonating an explosive device. Further, the mere existence of a thought seems to grant it agency and assign risk. Now I have to DO something about it.
Consider the notion that thinking is like seeing. I still have a visual field even when it isn’t particularly relevant to what I’m doing, I can still smell the room I’m in when absorbed in a book; could it not be possible that thinking just what the heart-mind does when idling? Maybe the heart-mind thinks because it is constantly active, just as open eyes see, ears hear, noses sniff, and skin still feels.
If that’s the case, what makes a thought meaningful? Why do we sometimes attach? What is it about the Baby Shark song?
The Federally orchestrated state violence in Los Angeles has worked on me. It made me feel powerless and unsafe. My person and home were not threatened, not even figuratively, but I am intimidated. I’m going out less. I’m locking the one-sided deadbolt on my apartment door more faithfully. I did not attend a No Kings protest yesterday because I am no longer prepared to do that. Why?
I’m frightened by what I am thinking.
The issue isn’t being fingered as a protestor. That’s old news, and I know I’m in foreign databases also. The issue is having my phone seized by MAGA thugs cosplaying as law enforcement. My rights won’t matter, and they can use the bio-metric authentication capabilities (Face ID) on someone handcuffed and shackled to unlock an iPhone like mine for unlawful search and seizure. They’re doing this now as a part of their routine unlawful rendition workflow.
Should I disable Face ID on my iPhone, disable fingerprint unlocking on my iPad, and set my Apple watch so it can no longer unlock either device with mere proximity? I consider this not because I have state secrets, evidence of my own criminal wrongdoing, or even my plans for peaceful protests on my phone. I’ve got too many pictures of people I love and respect on my phone to permit illegal involuntary searches by ICE Barbie’s thugs. Yes, some are those kinds of pictures.
Are my thoughts making me paranoid?
Is this rumination just the product of my mind not having enough to do?
I’m thinking about it.