They're back
A new generation of dead-enders in Gettysburg
The stench of gasoline and vehicle exhaust and the thunderous mechaized roar of straight-piped motorcycle engines characterizes the slow showy roll down Baltimore avenue. They are tracing the same route that President Lincoln strode on foot, somewhat more somberly, from his humble lodging in the center of town southward to the new national battlefield cemetary in November.
These redneck cosplayers do not do this out of respect, they do it to attract attention to themselves and their chrome outdoor adult toys. It is Gettysburg Bike Week 2025. The soldiers and officers of the United States of Toxic Masculinity have gathered to bribe a quiet southwest Pennsylvania town into permitting a brash, sneering, uncooth parade alongside the tombs of the unknowns passing their 162nd year on these normally quiet and serene grounds All for the tourist dollars.
I am reminded, once again, that these enthusiasts do not share my values, beliefs, or interests. Much to my relief (and not at all to my surprise) there were few bikers visiting Gettysburg National Park itself, so the purpose of my trip itself rendered them intentionally distant without making a show of my disgust.
They did add to the atmosphere of visiting a battlefield cemetary by providing a soundtrack of low rumbling explosions in the distance. The conduct by the men on these battlefields feels very very far removed from the sneering spew of black exhaust from gunning engines, but the soundtrack has an eerie resonance.
It dawned on me walking around town that I was suspect as a man of a certain age because I was not sporting a sleeveless Harley Davidson t-shirt. I got side-eyed a number of times before I realized why. I was clearly not like everyone else.
Ironically, they come to Gettysburg for the same reason that General Lee gathered his troops here in late June of 1963. There are ten roads that lead to Gettysburg, coming in from all directions. It is a great place to gather in Southwestern Pennsylvania, even today. Also, through their open allegiance to the Felon in Chief, I could not help but make the association with the Confederate invasion of Gettysburg.
Johnny Reb rides a Harley now.
It struck me how little of a stretch it is to connect the Confederacy to MAGA. The Confederates originally referred to the CIvil War as the Second American Revolution; they genuinely believed that the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence represented foreign rule to Southern states analogous to King George III. They did things differently, and all they wanted was to be left alone to govern themselves.
But, much like today, they couldn’t pay their way. MAGA states take more material wealth from the government than they send. Confederate states seized material wealth from the forced labor of the enslaved. They couldn’t support themselves then, and they still can’t.
Lee’s entire plan was forced by the fact that after three years the Confederacy was running out of resources. The Union overwhelmed then in every category. The only chance they had to get to a negotiated settlement would be by breaking the will of the Union to continue the fight through terrorism in Southwest Pennsylvania. Gettysburg had no military value, it was simply a good place to concentrate a fighting force.
Lincoln was facing a tough re-election. If the Democrats won in 1864, the South could sue for peace and keep their slaves, and slavery. There was a significant political peace movement in the North. Destroying the Army of the Potomac witha surprise attack in a place that offers a striaght march to Washington DC was not a crazy strategy. If Lee and Stuart had better luck, things could have been very different.
But they weren’t, and 53,000 men died over three days on a section of land one can walk in an afternoon. The Union’s will to fight strengthened, and Lee high-tailed it back to Virginia afterwards.
No one knows exactly where Lincoln delivered the Gettysburg address. He wasn’t the main speaker that day. There’s a monument nearby that is encircled by the numbered markers of graves of the unknown, or pieces of the unknown, because many of the graves aren’t far enough apart to contain entire adult human bodies.
You literally can’t find areas of historical significance like this one that are not populated with mutiple monuments to state militias.
That is MacPherson’s ridge, on the North side of town, where the first clashes of the three day battle started. Imagine Confederate troops marching towards you in Napoleonic ranks. This was among the first contacts, before either side really knew the strength of the other.
It ultimately ended here, about two kilometers away, on Little Round Top, three days later. more than fifty-three thousand casualties. Seven million rounds of ammunition were discharged over those three days. None of it mechanized.
The wildflowers are beautiful up here. No motorcycles allowed.