Another really interesting essay, Richard. You wrote that you have over identified with your work - but at least it was work that helped people survive, and lightened their load as their end neared. I think it would be much worse to over identify with work that had no meaning. Your work was very meaningful, which of course leads to the current conundrum - who are you if you're not working anymore? I wonder about that too. My work has been quite engrossing but not nearly as important as yours. For those of us with no progeny the question of "what's the point?" often lurks. Yet I have always questioned the idea that if one has offspring, that one's life has meaning. Seems to me they're just kicking the can down the road. I usually keep these thoughts to myself or I would be even more unpopular than I am, LOL
My parents found little meaning (that I could discern) from having a child, so perhaps that's why the parent trap has been something that I have evaded. I knew there were many things very fundamentally wrong with my family, so as a young man I assiduously avoided having one of my own for fear of unconsciously doing to another innocent child what had been done to me. As I unwound all that over the years I grieve the way I deprived myself, but never questioned the logic. I was in my early fifties before I was prepared to be a parent, but I didn't consciously realize that for another decade as I became Uncle Richard to friends' kids. Now I look for people to mentor, that's meaningful.
Meaning is self-defined. No one can force something to be meaningful. For me, finding meaning is the point, like wandering through the woods bird-watching. Other than choosing to walk in woods with birds, I just keep my eye out for it. That's the reason I get up in the morning, to find more meaning.
Another really interesting essay, Richard. You wrote that you have over identified with your work - but at least it was work that helped people survive, and lightened their load as their end neared. I think it would be much worse to over identify with work that had no meaning. Your work was very meaningful, which of course leads to the current conundrum - who are you if you're not working anymore? I wonder about that too. My work has been quite engrossing but not nearly as important as yours. For those of us with no progeny the question of "what's the point?" often lurks. Yet I have always questioned the idea that if one has offspring, that one's life has meaning. Seems to me they're just kicking the can down the road. I usually keep these thoughts to myself or I would be even more unpopular than I am, LOL
My parents found little meaning (that I could discern) from having a child, so perhaps that's why the parent trap has been something that I have evaded. I knew there were many things very fundamentally wrong with my family, so as a young man I assiduously avoided having one of my own for fear of unconsciously doing to another innocent child what had been done to me. As I unwound all that over the years I grieve the way I deprived myself, but never questioned the logic. I was in my early fifties before I was prepared to be a parent, but I didn't consciously realize that for another decade as I became Uncle Richard to friends' kids. Now I look for people to mentor, that's meaningful.
Meaning is self-defined. No one can force something to be meaningful. For me, finding meaning is the point, like wandering through the woods bird-watching. Other than choosing to walk in woods with birds, I just keep my eye out for it. That's the reason I get up in the morning, to find more meaning.